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Jul. 29th, 2009

 Damn it, you're too cynical.

Jun. 28th, 2009

Will I lose my sanity before these four years are over?

Jun. 27th, 2009

I take care of my sister and this family. Do you honestly think that I could just let her stay out and be eaten by wolves? Where have you been lately, father?

Fathers Day

May be the only day I saw him smile.
I hope your days are as breath taking as mine.
"Move on. It's just a chapter in the past. But don't close the book, just turn the page."
There are many things I wish to say to certain people, but I don't have the heart to say them. One gives me burning juvenile competition between the pettiest things. Which it kills me to just see that person argue ones point with great vigor over whether a man's shirt was blue or green. Get over it, you have nothing to argue with here, it is just a shirt.
Another gives me great overwhelming uncomfortableness which gives the atmosphere an awkward feeling bounded with a little bit of annoyance. You must say something to me in order to let me in, have me understand what you're thinking. You can't just sit there and act pretty.
Another certain one just throws ideas out of ones mouth, giving everyone else the incentive to join in on the entertainment. Unfortunately, things get blown off really quickly with this one individual. This person would, I could tell you, minutes later after making a plan, cancel it.
This one gives me pity and compassion. This one individual is followed by a half retarded man who, above nothing else, tries to strike every man's genitalia as hard as he could. I feel very sorry for this individual, so I try to make it up by hanging out with him. You must avoid him at all cost. But don't worry, college is approaching, soon you won't have to see him anymore.
There are two here, and they are basically my brothers. One I met in third grade, the other i met in eighth. I share special connections with each of them and they genuinely care about my mental health and overall well being. They understand my reasons for being out of love because they too had train wreck endings as well. I love you guys, really I do. You seem to know my situation the best and I think now that things can go smoother from now on.
There is one individual who I'd like to see and hang out with more. This individual has no time for living life and just packs on more and more obligations. I wonder if one would just die out of sheer weight over one's shoulders. You got to stop pleasing your parents and try staying up and hang out with us for a change. Too much work and no play makes you not a happy man.
Another one I feel betrayed by. This one individual has built up the most significant part of my life and abruptly leaves in order to seek something more. As much as it hurts, I feel that one individual needs it, no matter how I feel. Words cannot change your mind now, so go to Chicago and maybe you'll find happiness there.
This one individual prides oneself over taking the next step. If I were to retaliate ego would take it as a threat to ones ego. Just take your ego and kick it out the door. No one needs it here and no one appreciates its cruel ways. Egos are for prick wavers and you are a prick waver.
And lastly, this person, I wonder where life would that one. I feel that it is my fault for driving one away, I initially did. One does many extraordinary things, or rather extra-terrestrial things. This one individual has found something new in live and has tossed one's pass behind. I feel insulted by this individual because one said that we should be strangers. Do you honestly think that I can? Whatever suits you then. You have nothing that surrounds you that reminds you of me. But I have everything that embraces me with you. I seem insignificant in your life yet I still feel you are a large portion in mine.

Juveniles, I have to say, I don't want to be apart of the general stereotype anymore. You see, nothing bothers me most, until I see jock-men stick out their dicks in the air and parading dry humps on the dance floor. They blatantly holler to their "girlfriends" to give them a blowjob or have sex. They grow their hair long in order to prove something, in fact they just look more ugly. They dye their hair blonde and stuff their breast cups. They act very airy and wear skimpy clothing. They all drink. They all act the same, no matter who they are.
I don't want to see anyone, for a long, long time.

Jun. 3rd, 2009


Why are all these troubling feelings coming back from the depths?

May. 24th, 2009

A Man in the House of Beningham

There was a man
in the house of Beningham
He cried his sorrows and regrets away

He loved too much at too young
Confused, Elated
As he lay

He had learned his love is loving another
He reconstructed a painful smile
To please an invisible audience

There was a man in the house of Beningham
Who shed tears of understanding
He never gave himself a moments rest
To make other people happy

He lived life to the fullest, traveling
Where his time spent days wandering
In his mind he opened doors and opportunities
Constantly being reminded of the past

He broke himself down one night
Picking apart what was left of his humanity and dignity
In order to keep his sanity

There was a man in the house of Beningham
Patiently waiting for the uncertain future
Because he knows that love will find a way home.


Drunken Monkey

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